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How Evil Are You?

How Evil Are You?

Just how wicked are your wicked ways? Put your plans to destroy the world on hold for a moment, and we'll evaluate your evilness.

A friend calls you, very upset, because someone hacked into one of his/her online profiles. Now it's full of offensive photos and vile insults. You think:

That sucks! (But I can't resist checking the profile, just to see how bad it really is.)
It's really sad when people are that mean to each other.
He/she is such a whiner. Change it back, change your password, end of story.
It's really ironic that he/she called me -- I'm the one who did it.

If you're watching a horror movie with a friend who's extremely scared of horror movies, you'll probably:

Keep a few lights on, and talk a lot, so my friend won't be scared.
Watch it in the dark. It'll be so funny if my friend freaks out.
Tell my friend that the movie is based on a true story, that it happened nearby, and that the police never solved the crime. (All lies.)
Turn it off. Why give my poor friend nightmares?

At the grocery store, you look down the freezer aisle just as a stranger slips on a wet spot and falls down hard. You:

Rush over and ask, "Are you okay?"
Feel guilty, because I noticed that spill earlier and didn't tell anyone.
Totally hid the "Caution: Wet Floor" sign.
Laugh.

How many enemies do you have?

None, as far as I know.
Just one -- my arch nemesis.
I don't love everyone, but "enemy" is a strong word.
Too many to count (and they have no idea how much I despise them).

When you're plotting revenge on someone, how do you feel inside?

I don't "plot revenge" on people. I forgive them.
I feel like a terrible person for even thinking about revenge.
Very, very calm.
Excited. It's payback time!

If you suddenly inherit enough money to buy (or build) your dream home, where do you think you'll end up living?

Someplace fancy, but not too fancy. I don't want my friends to envy me.
An ancient stone castle with lots of gargoyles
A home that looks normal on the outside, but has a ginormous secret basement full of powerful computers
The same place I live now. I really like it here.

Your close friend Megan is running for student body president. You know if she wins, she'll have a lot less time to hang out with you. You:

Help her with her campaign, so we can at least spend time together now.
Vote against her, and then feel bad about it for weeks, whether she wins or not.
Tell her that I've been hearing nasty rumors about her. (I won't mention that I started them.)
Subtly question her qualifications until her self-esteem is so low that she withdraws from the race.

If you find a magic ring on the street that turns you invisible, the first thing you'll do is:

Spy on my enemies.
Spy on my friends.
Drink a glass of juice in front of a mirror, because I bet it'll look like the glass is flying.
Turn it in to the police. I'm sure the owner would want it back.

If someone put you in charge of babysitting a two year old for the day, you'd make it your personal mission to teach him/her:

A new word.
A curse word.
To make a crazy face anytime someone takes out a camera.
How to manipulate people. It's never too early to learn.

If a friend confides in you about an embarrassing crush, you'll probably:

Go after the crush myself, just to test my powers of seduction.
Tease him/her about it, preferably when the crush is within earshot.
Keep it a secret.
Keep it a secret, unless I suspect it's mutual, in which case I'll try to set them up.

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